Something is Amiss

Friday, July 21, 2006

I am afraid to be alone....
Alot happened today... wells...
today i woke up feeling really tired n having headache... i really didnt want to go sch... but i rmb today was friday... i can see my kuku family =] wells so i dragged my self out of the room... seeing that the living room was nothing but an empty space... well.. i was informed ytd anyway... wellz i got a long bath n got ready, walked to sch thinking alot of things.. eekz... banged alot of ppl as i walked... wasnt paying much attention ba..? got to sch.. unable to see alot of kuku fam on the way to the canteen.. haiss i was really sad la.. then i wasnt paying attention to any of the lessons, just hoping for recess to come... during eng lesson... Ms cai asked me to flatten my hair ++ cut all my nails.. eekz! my nail on my tumb!! it was 1 month old!!! =(( kuku Ms cai! bully me only!! well when recess came i walked down... hey ! i saw kai jie, i saw jo, i saw ah bu~ haha mood back again!! i cant live without kuku fam la... haiss... =P then after recess i got my mood back n i payed attention to the lessons ^^ wells i was also waiting for the last 2 lesson to end la ... then wakau wan jun n shi qi told me tt i was chosen for some dumb... ambasiidooor thingy organized by ms cai n ms sim.. lik wadda.... **** then after sch i went with rabia n zul.. still so confused la.,. duno wad it is... then wooooss i saw ah bu n gwen~~ they in that thing thing too! wee was so happy to see more kuku fammm~ then ooo its abt going to pri sch n "advertise" for the sch n "bribe" the students to join ess ^^ ok enuf of it... then it was choir time!!!!!! WEEEE~ we played captains ball awhile then it rained... =(( bad day bad day!! then we went back n went straight for practice... well today sectional... then we seperated.. well.. it was... horrible la.. n i was kinda piss of... very very pissed la... well after tt i was like... bad mood coz of it... and something else i just remembered.. then the kukus were asking y i liddat.. silly ppl im fine la =] no worries oki? just bad mood oni ^_^ wells after practice mrs teh was discussing abt the national thing... well i wasnt listening... kept.. thinking... n thinking la... was so ... angry baa... then mrs suddenly called my name n ask whether i've voted.. eekz i was so shock... then i saw the kukus all chose the first song... so.. i go with them baa...hah... then after choir i wanted to just... run home de... coz was kinda... depressed ba.. then kai jie ran down n dragged me... zzz... then he went down to find mr han then i wanted to just go home n sleep.. then he n edmund met me at the foyer n dragged me... then the rest came down... ayiass... i didnt know wad to say la.. i wanted to cry... but i didnt want to do it infront of them to mak them worried abt me.. =// then kai li kept knowing tt besides 1 thing, theres another things.. then ya la.. haizz... then we went mac lor... n chit chat... i was still thinking bout the thing la... n i was pretty sure later when me, kai jie n kai li walk home, she will surely ask de... haiss then ah bu n serene took bus home, liyong went too.. so.. left me. kai jie n kai li... as we walked home... as expected la.. kai li asked me again.. wads wrong with me.. b4 tt she did told me earlier on... she told me all her problems, she shared with me all her feeling... then just now i kept keeping the problems to myself.. im being unfair to her... so.. i decided to tell ba... after tt i really duno wad else to say... kai jie was sighing all the way... then... haiz....speechless la.. then when kai li crossed the road... left me n kai jie... he was still sighing n kept asking me things.. well.. wad else can i say la.. no much really.. when i looked at him... i really saw him... looking down... not... smiling at all.. tt was the reason y i didnt want to tell... i would end up making them.. sad.. well all thats left is... honestly.. after the green light flashed n i walked away from kai jie... when i just turned.. havent even crossed the road la.. i cried... i dont think he knew la.. hope he dont... but i cried all the way home.. =(( i remember tt i only cried so badly in public is when i missed my pri sch frens super lots... kuku fam jsut meant so much to me la.. so much so much... so much has happened... we went thru so much pain n happiness as a family .. i m scared... scared tt i will be alone again... wad would i do if i becomes alone.. i really dont know wad to do without them la..
haizz... all thats left is..KU KU FAM... I LOVE U ALL!

missing;7:34 PM

Friday, July 21, 2006

about.

Scream of Pain

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merci.